Sat on 20 days this month, totalling 23 hours 35 minutes practice. (37 entries total)


Thu
30
Evening sit. 54 bows... sitting holding some people in my heart, including a dear friend who is moving to another country. Much sadness and love. ...

Morning sit. Still shaky from yesterday. 108 bows, which were fine. The sitting was not. But still regaining balance.


Wed
29
Evening sit with the sangha. Seems to be a pattern lately that my sitting with the sangha is very difficult. Especially on a wednesday, each time ...

Morning sit. Could not sleep anymore so began early, with smiling and feelings of love. At times my mind was also wandering a bit. Kept realising ...


Tue
28
Afternoon sit. Am swapping this for my evening sit, so I am by myself, to keep the peace at home! This time while doing my bows I felt the student ...

Morning sit. While doing my bows I turned to myself for trust. Again I am not entirely sure how to do things slowly... anyhow I felt more peaceful ...


Mon
27
Was doing not too badly and then suddenly was completely engulfed. Spent most of the time curled in a ball listening to a guided meditation on pts ...

Morning sit. Took Sarah‘s advice and had a break from sitting last night and fell asleep very early... Getting lots of panicky feelings throughout ...


Sun
26
Morning sit. Was nervous this morning, but Cady, my aunt and uncle‘s dog came and nuzzled her head against my face and I felt so much better! Whil ...


Sat
25
Evening sit. Came to do my bows intending to sit with the situation I mentioned from this morning. Felt immediately frozen with fear, and had grea ...

Morning sit. I woke up feeling anxious about a couple of specific things, and carried this disquiet in my body while sitting. I centered on my ...


Fri
24
Evening sit. Bit distracted sitting at my aunt and uncle‘s house. Also at some point their new dog walked in and licked my face and neck :). Despi ...

A continuation of last night. This time did some visualisation; I brought the practising me into the yards where I felt so much pressure as a stu ...


Thu
23
Evening sit Kind of a funny sit. Began with bowing, and just felt my heart open and open, full of love, till it felt nearly painful. Then I was i ...

Morning sit. As I was doing my bows and then while sitting, I filled with gratitude and joy to everyone who has been supporting me and to the prac ...


Wed
22
Evening sit with the sangha. Started with some very unsettling feelings of fear, close to terror. I did some soothing breathing exercises and wo ...

Morning sit. Missed it last night as fell asleep before the kids! Much better now. Stayed with a tension or feeling I have that I have to always b ...


Tue
21
Had a 15 min sit at 4, because could not sleep. stayed with some feeling of tension that felt a bit like impatience. Then felt sleepy! Morning si ...


Mon
20
A very peaceful sit. Feeling joyful and sleepy... Guided metta meditation for the last ten minutes. That was lovely too!

Major overload after some intense and painful and also beautiful sharing with the sangha group. Could not sit last night, had to collapse and slee ...


Sun
19
Sitting with a sangha group. Triggered by coming close to a place associated with painful memories and feeling quite flooded with fear. Was doin ...

Could not sleep so decided to sit. 54 bows. I don’t why exactly but they really seem to open things up. Bringing up or letting go of people or som ...


Sat
18
Began with usual 27 bows, and this time with each bow, I laid down someone who means a lot to me and yet I no longer see. I had been thinking abou ...

Morning sit. Mixed emotions. some peace, some turmoil. meditating on my friendships and my fears of losing them. I felt also the need to write to ...


Fri
17
Decided to sit this afternoon instead of tonight as I think my sitting twice a day now is creating some tensions! Earlier I followed some advice a ...

27 bows, body scan and the guided metta meditation. This time it felt more powerful, firstly towards myself. Metta to a difficult person did feel ...


Thu
16
After the usual twenty seven bows, did a body scan, and then just sitting. Just managed to stay focused and reasonnably calm and even felt a littl ...

Morning sit. Trying to follow advice and reduce the intensity of sitting to something more manageable. Feeling less fractured. But difficult stuff ...


Wed
15
Evening sit with the Sangha. Realised it was going to be very difficult before I sat down. Sat in full lotus because I hoped the discomfort would ...

Morning sit. Pretty horrible. Tried breathing into this feeling left over from yesterday in my head of being shut down. Focus very poor.


Tue
14
Evening sit. well, first ten minutes lying down as I shut down at six-ish. Later was able to sit.

Morning sit. Breathing into areas of tension because they seemed more manageable today.


Mon
13
Evening sit. Fifty four full bows, instead of twenty seven, to see what it felt like. Laying down layers and layers of myself. I was surprised at ...

morning sit. started feeling a little scattered. counting my breaths did help with that. some unexpected peace, and a sense of flux.


Sun
12
Cried throughout watching Blue Planet with my family causing some consternation earlier today. It felt like it was a continuation of this morning ...

morning sit. I find it so difficult and scary to post! There was such a soft yellow light this morning. I sat with this fear and body tension that ...


Sat
11
Morning zendo. I think I was staying mostly on the surface of what I was sitting with today, afraid to go deeper. Still, that surface is closer th ...