Sat on 13 days this month, totalling 14 hours 34 minutes practice. (27 entries total)


Sun
13
Evening sit.

Morning sit. Being with the child me who is afraid of abandonment, and seeing how I have projected all these feelings onto someone else. Metta to ...


Sat
12
Evening sit. Late, quite sleepy. Feeling a lot of contraction inside me, after a conversation that was difficult but also useful. I have been reco ...

Zazenkai. started with releasing a lot of sadness, after which sitting was peaceful. Being with the in and out breath.


Fri
11
Afternoon sit. Releasing a lot of grief.

Morning sit.


Thu
10
Evening sit with the sangha.

Sitting with a friend who is grieving.

morning sit. So distracted, constricted and uncomfortable in my skin that sitting felt useless. However I sat there with it.


Wed
09
Evening sit. Could not make it to the zendo, because of a very crazy kid schedule. During the sit my candle went out and this felt very symbolic. ...

Morning sit. Another “stormy” sit. Sometimes I really don’t like sitting with what is there. Apart from some really beautiful candle light aberrat ...


Tue
08
Evening sit. sleepy.

Morning sit. Stuck in the middle of an emotional storm. Connected to now but with lots of echoes from the past too. I think I am sitting it out, w ...


Mon
07
Evening sit. Difficult. Feeling low and vulnerable and I am right in the middle of the feelings instead of looking at them with a little distance.

Morning sit. Still sitting with my shadow sides. I recognise a child who feels jealousy because she feels love and happiness are scarse. Her feeli ...


Sun
06
Evening sit. Bowing practice and letting things go. Until I got stuck in a particular sorrow and hurt. Being with all that I cannot let go of yet.

Morning sit. Metta to my shame, fear, inability to receive love, and also to my joy when I see good in me, when I am brave, when I can receive love.


Sat
05
Evening sit. Sleepy. Lots of metta practice to opposing feelings, attitudes and reactions I have.

Morning sit. Being with some really uncomfortable dark sides of me and trying to stay open and in one piece. A positive decision came out of it an ...


Fri
04
Two separate sits 15 and 20.

Morning sit. Processing some difficult feelings, parts of my shadow side and feeling very vulnerable, folding inside myself. Tried to just be with ...


Thu
03
Evening sit with the sangha. Spent all day feeling off balance and sharing this with a friend who also felt off balance for different reasons, whi ...

Morning sit. Still lots of anger, and it feels horrible, separating. This time I can feel myself wanting to push everyone away and needing to resi ...


Wed
02
Afternoon sit. Another one with anger. A kind of delayed anger that I should probably have felt yesterday but didn’t because it is something I am ...

Morning sit. Less stuck than last night. Metta practice.


Tue
01
Afternoon sit in the car returning home. Conflict and disconnection again. Back to feeling I am in a fog and that my one aim is to show up and not ...

First sit of the new year. I feel very focused. The fog is gone for now. Noticing how I have been passive within this group if people and how this ...