Sat on 22 days this month, totalling 23 hours 32 minutes practice. (41 entries total)


Thu
22
Morning sit. Sleepy. Being with this very familiar not being good enough feeling, in a caring way. then a further sit later of 15 min. Lots of e ...


Wed
21
Afternoon sit.

Morning sit. Hurts. but got unblocked a bit after.


Tue
20
Morning sit


Mon
19
Afternoon sit. Did some qi jong practice again. Lots of peaceful energy. Have been so tired and overwrought recently, and all this peace and alive ...

Shower sit. Some of it bows, ten or so, with a feeling of falling deep, and energy flowing all round my body, making every part of me feel intense ...


Sun
18
Evening sit. Had to first remove the cat who had quickly sat on my zabuton. Outpouring of emotions for a while, rising over and over from my heart ...

Sit with sangha friends. Painful knot in my heart. Struggled with really painful tears and resistance till I (in thought) placed a hand onto my h ...


Sat
17
Morning sit. Sitting with both peace and anxiety. As usual the small struggle to turn towards the anxiety and accept it.


Fri
16
A second sit. Anxious. Continuation of this morning I guess. Established a sort of safe place in EMDR therapy yesterday which I need to practice ...

Morning sit. Still boundaries and anger. The other person’s anger is over and now I find that although I am not angry as such I have shut the doo ...


Thu
15
Morning sit. Working on self-soothing. Tried out placing my hand on my big areas of tension and saying, ow, that hurts. Something I learnt from T ...


Wed
14
Sitting with the sangha. Earlier today I was sitting with someone else’s anger with me, that feels like it has pervaded my being, and was eroding ...

Afternoon sit. Struggling with the wall of silent anger at home...

Another sit.

Morning sit


Tue
13
Morning sit. Shorter as my daughter woke up early. A lot of energy flowing up from my feet. Getting a sense of my fear of no boundaries, and the p ...


Mon
12
Evening sit. No expectations, feeling quite empty. Found I was no longer in this stuck part of myself, was feeling some gentle energy flowing up f ...

Afternoon ‘sit’, curled up on the mat version of a sit... more of the same. I am seeing how the other side of me only feeling okay if other people ...

Another morning sit. Difficult, feeling stuck. Sitting with my reaction to other people’s anger, which is sadness and depression, feeling helpless ...

Morning sit. feels unfinished.


Sun
11
Evening sit

Morning sit. Managed 27 bows for the first time in ages, and sitting upright :) My head was a bit chatty some of the time. I have been feeling wit ...


Sat
10
Evening sleepy sit. Fighting off a desire to sleep apart from two moments where I was hit by a strong sense of urgency just from being alive. Felt ...

Sitting with the sangha. Lately sitting has been very much a safe place to be in when waves of fear come. I remember writing that I thought it wa ...


Fri
09
Evening sit

Another sit.

Morning sit.


Thu
08
Afternoon sit

Morning sit. This morning have been completely overwhelmed and out of my depth apart from during this half an hour of sitting. I think right now I ...


Wed
07
Evening sit with sangha. Surprisingly good! Had felt weighed down and depressed all day, and by the time I was on the bus on my way to the zendo ...

Morning sit. More looking at my connections to people. At how difficult I found/find sticking up for myself in my relationships.


Tue
06
Morning sit. Sleepy! Last night retraced my steps on googlemaps from the uni to an old student house in Toxteth. Unpleasant but at the same time t ...


Mon
05
Another shower sit! Down and lifeless after the school drop-off and was aware of some things that I stayed at the surface of when sitting earlier ...

Sleepy morning sit. Bit distracted by thoughts whirling round!


Sun
04
Morning sit. Sitting with some old hurt in a relationship with a caregiver and our connection which is mostly painful. When I do this I often vis ...


Sat
03
Evening sit. Not a comfortable one. Looking, with quite a bit of resistance, at my relationship with life and death; My history of rejection of p ...

short sit, because I felt compelled to. Being with a feeling of flowing and falling very deep into myself. Difficult to describe.

Morning sit. A continuation of yesterday. Looking really deeply into how I hold some of the people who are dear to me in my heart. Practised metta ...


Fri
02
Morning sit. Curled up again. Had a very intense sit in which I was looking straight into my heart. Mostly wordlessly. Sometimes connected to peop ...


Thu
01
Morning sit. This time sitting up again... It was good, peaceful and full of life. Feels like a blessing in a time when everything feels very frag ...