Sat on 17 days this month, totalling 19 hours 48 minutes practice. (32 entries total)


Sun
17
Afternoon sit Missed sitting this morning, because I was feeling exhausted. Concentration was wavering at times and my head and heart a bit all ov ...


Sat
16
Morning sit with the sangha. Started with metta for everybody there, to really connect with everybody in my heart. This really helped. Was feeling ...

Morning sit. A few hours before my jukai, needing to sit with a lot of fear and swirling feelings. Sometimes went right into the places in my body ...


Fri
15
Afternoon sit.

Morning sit. Distracted, conflicted, and also being with the memory or feeling of letting myself disappear into the background rather than have a ...


Thu
14
two shorter sits. Sleepy.

Another sit. Started to calm down slightly after this sit. I needed time to feel stuff and cry.

Another sit.

Morning sit.


Wed
13
Another sit. Going through a difficult emotional time. It is bringing up quite a lot of old stuff too. Some self-loathing, lots of despair. Felt a ...

Afternoon sit.


Tue
12
sit with people after tai chi.

Morning sit outside. The garden is starting to feel like my bedroom! Concentration very very bad. Despite this am noticing some positive changes. ...


Mon
11
Evening sit outside. Very sleepy, and still the same stuff.

Morning sit. Still the same stuff... Massive anxiety has taken over. Still lovely sitting out. So much company, my cats, hens, squirrels, birds, d ...


Sun
10
Evening sit, before sleeping outside again, by myself this time. Think this could become a habit. Last night had to make some distance between me ...

Morning sit after a nearly sleepless night sleeping under the stars with pretty bad insomnia. Yesterday I started saying some of the things that I ...


Sat
09
morning sit with the sangha. lots of crying. Feeling split still from the things that I am not expressing. But starting to get a sense that I have ...


Fri
08
Morning sit and mini sit


Thu
07
Afternoon sit

Morning sit and a mini sit


Wed
06
evening sit with the sangha. Mainly trying to ground myself with awareness of my contact with the floor.

Afternoon sit outside

Morning sit. Again feeling very conflicted and enclosed in my chest and shoulders and completely drained of energy, with no will or strength at al ...


Tue
05
Afternoon sit. During tai chi I had this very strong urge to sit on the floor and sob. Thinking of Sarah‘s last post on crying... I did not do th ...

sit with group after tai chi.

Morning sit


Mon
04
Morning sit. Another sit curled up on my mat allowing the waves of fear that were passing through my chest. It was strangely okay, perhaps because ...


Sun
03
Evening sit. Feeling very stuck... And also nervous and unprepared for the jukai. A sit with very little space. Am not enjoying this feeling of be ...


Sat
02
Evening sit. Back home.

Morning sit. The mountains and water had disappeared in the mist. A little distracted by midges. A lot of tightness in my chest.


Fri
01
morning sit