Sat on 14 days this month, totalling 18 hours 42 minutes practice. (29 entries total)


Thu
14
guided meditation

 


Wed
13
sit with sangha

Inner child healing guided meditation. This time it was very healing. Some tears and a lot of love.

Feel bit better after another night of lots of sleep. Guided meditation on ptsd and anxiety. It is a really gentle one, keeps well away from memor ...


Tue
12
Guided meditation inner child healing.

Did two guided meditations on my insight timer (forgiveness and metta).


Mon
11
Two walking meditations in town. I had found I was doing this anyway without thinking about it, sort of carrying my student self inside me. I conc ...

Morning sit. Was too exhausted to sit last night, and slept a full ten hours! Wanted to sit with something simple, but same as yesterday, broken h ...


Sun
10
Morning sit Still same feelings of being broken hearted, quite a bit of resistance to feeling these; turned to this with kindness.


Sat
09
zazen with sangha. This was shorter than normal but not really sure about times. The first sit I was sitting with brokenheartedness again. Just t ...

Morning sit with sangha (last part of the retreat). It was two periods of zazen with kin-hin. The first sit was with complete broken heartedness. ...


Fri
08
Evening sit with the sangha This was very restful especially after all the intense stuff that has come up lately. I was being with the day to day ...

morning sit. or sort of. Have been going to this zen retreat, and will go back and write about those sits, but did not feel upto it yet, because ...


Thu
07
Sitting started off feeling close to unbearable. But this time had no idea what it was about. Just emotions. Crying. Screaming in my head. Then at ...

Morning zazen with the sangha. Very tired, have been having trouble sleeping for some time. Felt so lonely and tired of fighting. All my despair ...


Wed
06
Yesterday morning something was stuck in my chest. I curled up on the floor and cried about 6 or so times in between doing my daily tasks.
 ...

Morning sit. 54 bows. Mostly wordless and quite sleepy. Last ten minutes kneeling with my hands cupped on the mat, looking at the candle light and ...


Tue
05
Evening sit. Started with the verse of atonement. Still sitting with my feelings of universal guilt, and also my own personal guilt... The feelin ...

Had some time before an appointment so sat outside. This time did not attempt to sit at the bus stop which did not work for me previously but foun ...

Yesterday after sitting with impatience I was hit with a few strong memories, and stayed with them for a while, looked at photos, and cried. I rea ...


Mon
04
Decided to sit because of this huge feeling of restlessness and impatience! Found it difficult to turn towards, but tried also turning towards the ...

Morning sit with my confusion of torn feelings, fears and hopes. Lots of letting go on the out breath and back they were on the in breath! :)


Sun
03
Evening sit. Intermittently peaceful and a bit sleepy.

Still very tired, so after my bows, did a lying meditation. Was peaceful.


Sat
02
Evening sit? actually it was pretty much all bowing. I missed this morning because I had a rather late night and a very busy morning. I am fightin ...


Fri
01
Same slow bowing as this morning with long pauses. Again the slowing down made it feel very intense, and also strangely as if I could not possibly ...

Strange morning sit... Thinking about the bowing, and Sarah wanting me to be careful! how I have been this year been discovering a sort of new lan ...