Sat on 30 days this month, totalling 51 hours 13 minutes practice. (65 entries total)


Thu
30
Evening sit

Morning zendo sit. Again quite painful. I think it is just the physical letting go of some of the old emotions that surfaced during the mirror sit ...


Wed
29
Sitting with sangha. Part way through there was something bubbling up which appeared like painful physical sensations but didn't stay put so I'm s ...

Morning sit. Today I could feel something arising that needed to be sat with. It arose as a series of linked sensations in one side around my wais ...


Tue
28
Normal sitting resumed. :)

15 minutes immediately on waking, felt like just let something arise and pass. Then the last 30 minutes of mirror sitting. A lot more friendliness ...


Mon
27
Third installment of mirror sitting. Just typed a long entry but my computer froze and lost it. Will retype later. Retyping what I can remember. ...

Second installment of mirror sitting. Less time with a tortured looking face this morning. More time with a face filled with gentleness, even towa ...


Sun
26
I can often tell what the tone of a sit will be by my mood just beforehand. Tonight as I brushed my teeth I noticed in the bathroom mirror that my ...

Last night was tough, this sit was too. I woke in the middle of the night with a huge mass of loneliness which made itself felt as an intense phy ...


Sat
25
Preceded by bowing and koan reading which seems to have become my standard evening practice this week. After my normal 30 minutes sit it felt like ...

Sitting with sangha. Surprisingly few thoughts. Plenty of gentle emotions - love, gratitude, appreciation mingled in with some nerves and an ocea ...

Woke noticing a nervousness and spent time feeling into the various body tensions and sensations finding that there wasn’t just nervousness there. ...

Not knowing -talk: Posting the wording of a talk I gave at the zendo (my first) mainly as a way to remember what I said and so not repeat it too much if I ...


Fri
24
Evening sit - preceded by bows and reading some more koans.

Morning sit - a bit pushed for time after stopping for a morning chat with my daughter.


Thu
23
Evening sit after writing out my talk for Saturday. Usefully the sit wiped all thoughts of that out of my head so I didn't spend all night thinkin ...

Morning zendo sit. In the first half my talk for Saturday wrote itself in my head (I'll probably have forgotten it all by the time I come to write ...


Wed
22
Sitting with sangha. Just before sitting I was asked to do a reading / talk on Saturday (my first) so almost inevitably I spent part of one this ...

After bowing I sat down on the cushion I found myself spontaneously chanting the Verse of Atonement which I don't often do at home. Today it felt ...


Tue
21
This was almost like 2 different sits. I'd been to a writing workshop during the evening which looked at automatic writing, letting the words just ...

Really beautiful this morning, not actively sitting with anything but at the same time sitting with everything. It felt at a couple of points like ...


Mon
20
Started the sit with bowing and then all of a sudden decided to read over the wording of my tokudo (ordination) service. Some of it hit home harde ...

Morning sit. Brought in some of the wording from the service I listened to last night into the start of this sit. Felt appropriate somehow.


Sun
19
I thought that last night might bring a tearful sit after yesterday's sangha group involved some brave sharing of difficult emotions and experienc ...

A short sit at the start of a sangha group. Emotional and beautiful.

This felt beautiful. If my parents hadn't been expected any minute I'd have carried on sitting indefinitely. This morning bowing in front of the w ...


Sat
18
Evening sit - by the end I felt so sleepy that it barely felt like meditation but on getting into bed and on waking in the night it was clear it s ...

Quite a 'bitty' day of sitting today. First, the normal Saturday morning sitting at the zendo only instead of 3 sits I did two and spent the middl ...


Fri
17
Evening sit. Very good to be steady enough to actually sit this time rather than lie down.

Morning sit. A lying down sit on my side today because of my health issues, after which I had the sense to call work and rearrange my meetings. Ti ...


Thu
16
Evening sit

Morning zendo sit. Felt very fortunate to be there. I appreciate it more for making those morning sits less often recently.


Wed
15
Sitting with sangha. Feeling both tearful and grateful for the young student many years ago whose difficult situation I was unable to help. Recogn ...

Morning sit. A seemingly chance conversation got me thinking last night about the seemingly random chain of events that can shape our lives, how t ...


Tue
14
Evening sit - more of sitting with wisdom and compassion and trusting these

Morning sit. Like a bursting out. Cycled to the station noticing everything and everyone with even more delight than usual. The parents of all rac ...


Mon
13
Evening sit. Feeling so happy to sit. At the end noticed a sudden pain to the right side of my chest. I know from experience that this is probably ...

Morning sit. So wanted to sit for longer!


Sun
12
Tired but happy sit

Morning sit before heading out for my first walk in months :D


Sat
11
Evening sit

Morning zendo sit. 3 sessions of zazen. The first had a fair amount of thinking, processing the week and letting things settle. The second seeme ...


Fri
10
A sleepy evening sit after a friend's birthday celebration. If I am going to be out late I usually try to sit before I go out but tonight after wo ...

Morning sit. First half was about seeing and forgiving myself I think for some old ways of seeing the world and my place in it which led me to mak ...


Thu
09
Evening sit. On a sudden urge I moved a painting of the kanji for 'compassion' to my sitting spot. In its new temporary home it sits by a statue o ...

Morning zendo sit. With a lift in from a sangha friend I could make it in to the early morning sitting which always feels beautiful to share with ...


Wed
08
Sitting with sangha. A big smile arose as soon as I hit the cushion. I am ridiculously positive at the moment. Something seems to have cleared t ...

Morning sit


Tue
07
Evening sit

Morning sit. Because a lot of my old patterns of holding back from life stem from a very young age I've got a habit now of when I can feel an em ...


Mon
06
Evening sit

Morning sit


Sun
05
Sitting with a couple of sangha friends

Morning sit - like falling and being caught by life in every moment.


Sat
04
Evening sit

Morning sit


Fri
03
Evening sit

Morning sit - off work today so had a bit more time


Thu
02
A strange combination of deep absorption and day-to-day activity. My teenage daughter was out late and several times during the sit my phone vibra ...

Podcast on distraction and mindfulness: Sharing this is case it is of use to people. It is by Roshi Pat O'Hara, a zen teacher from the Village Zendo in New York. I enjoy her ta ...

Back to normal quiet sitting :)


Wed
01
Sitting with sangha. Monks wear robes in the zendo once a month when we have a more formal sitting. This was the first since my ordination. I was ...

Sitting with one of my darkest memories and by the end there was a real shift in how it felt. Each time it feels like I'm 'done' with these memori ...