30 minute meditation journal

10 October 2018 7:47 AM
Today's sit started and finished gazing out over the misty city landscape, it felt so immediate so raw. The thought that appeared in my head was "I can't not". I'm still not sure what I can't not as the question of "can't not what?" led to a tightening. Giving up needing to know (for now) what and just letting those words soak in as I sat on the cushion seemed to be what was needed. Felt like a load of resistance working its way out. Maybe I don't need to know what, maybe I'll just find myself doing something with better grace and less grumpiness. :)


Funny, when I read the phrase "I can't not", I immediately wondered to myself if that was an incomplete thought, or maybe a more general, zen-like statement (e.g. "I cant not. I exist and I don't have to struggle, simply accept things and be.")
Sittin' Fool
8 months ago
It felt like an incomplete thought but one that didn't need to be completed. I don't think there was anything about existence or non-existence in it but there was later while cycling to work (my commute often feels like additional practice time) it seemed to relate to life, to being fully part of life, to taken care of it as it does me because there is no separation really.
Kokai (Sarah)
8 months ago