55 minute meditation journal

04 January 2018 8:39 AM
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Morning sit. I awoke with a strong feeling of panic, making knots in my throat and belly. I was not sure where it came from. It felt as if it was sparked off by some current stuff, but seemed completely out of proportion so I suspected it was old. Began with really slow bows, with lots of pauses till I could feel what was going on, while doing the soothing breathing exercises. A strong feeling of I can‘t do it, came up, from me around six years of age. I sat with this child for sometime, holding her and telling her it was okay to feel that way. Once this feeling had passed I continued with the slow bows and this feeling in my belly, and what come up was a very deep fear of abandonment. It was very old and did not feel safe to come out completely, except in some trembling. It was much harder to soothe which I guess is also why it stayed hidden. I kept breathing and holding this feeling until I felt a sense of peace.

Comments

Tough sitting there Rosie. It sounds like you've got a good handle on it but I hope that you are being as kind to adult you in the aftermath as you were to child Rosie during it!
Bluemoon
Kokai (Sarah)
9 months ago
Thanks, I think I am. I did feel much better after so that helps. I think I am getting better at self soothing. I do it at any time that I notice I am stressed. 
rosie
Rosie
9 months ago
Great ! :)
Bluemoon
Kokai (Sarah)
9 months ago