60 minute meditation journal

03 December 2017 11:59 PM
I was tired so hoped to get away with a 30 minute sit but suspected that longer might be needed so also set timers for 45 and 60 minutes. At the 30 and 45 minute mark it still didn't feel 'done' so I continued. Seemed to be about more opening up and gently leaning into more blocked emotions. Felt physical more than anything else. Not really any thinking going on other than the intention to let myself fully feel this time what I didn't at the time. Really needed to get to bed after the hour was up, as I stood it suddenly felt like it wasn't just about all the emotions I blocked but the way that most (all of us?) have something that we don't let the world see. Nowadays I pretty much share any inner turmoil with anyone and have found that the more I do that, the more many people open up in return about their own difficulties.

There was still a lot more to come so I didn't get much sleep during the night as more stuff arose. During the night time it felt like letting stuff out. That I'd taken stuff in, had the emotions arise but as they were blocked and never shared they hung around as long overdue tensions. Belatedly letting go of them. Much more still to let go of.