30 minute meditation journal

01 December 2017 6:20 AM
2
2
Strange morning sit...
Thinking about the bowing, and Sarah wanting me to be careful! how I have been this year been discovering a sort of new language in my body, mysterious and unpredictable. As soon as I think I know what to do; like closing all the pandora boxes in me and just opening them one at a time, which felt completely right just then, then something happened to turn that upside down. And somehow it is still okay even when it doesn’t feel that way? Maybe... So this morning I tried the bowing really slowly, pausing between each one, and this again was totally different and very intense. It felt uncomfortably intense after a time so stopped at 27. 
Then when I sat it was strange, emotions all over the place, joy, sadness, love, pain, all flowing.  My mind was a bit busier than normal, and I cannot make any sense of it but still now that I look back I think how different I feel to when I was taking the antidepressants. I was mostly not numb, but still all my emotions felt blocked in weird ways. They certainly  never flowed! There is something so beautiful in the craziness and depth of emotions.  When I don’t run away from them, or try to control them.

Comments

Beautiful Rosie!!
Bluemoon
Kokai (Sarah)
13 days ago
Thank you! 
rosie
Rosie
13 days ago