135 minute meditation journal

11 November 2017 11:20 AM
Morning zendo sit. 3 sessions of zazen.

The first had a fair amount of thinking, processing the week and letting things settle. The second seemed to be about the inseparability of compassion and wisdom (again) and how we each have them (indeed are them) but that we just so rarely see it. The words Compassion and Wisdom ran through my head on fast repeat until they blurred into each other.

I find it easier to see the compassion in myself than wisdom. For so long I assumed that nothing I had to say was worth saying or would have any impact. If felt like some of that burst today with a huge tensing and releasing of one shoulder where I stored a lot of tension for years.

As I stood up for kinhin at the end of that sit it was like letting loose a tidal wave of something and a huge grin burst out. Everything seemed so special and beautiful - our zendo space, everyone following our strange walking pattern around the room, the world outside showing itself through light and sounds.

One of my legs went completely to sleep in the last sit with sharp cramping pains but I was enjoying myself so much that when the final bell went I found myself thinking "No! Not yet!" :)