80 minute meditation journal

03 November 2017 10:11 AM
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anapana: 40 morning +40 night : Because of getting sick, I felt my shoulders got tightened and my breath got heavier but I wanted to keep my rutine. I discovered that my inner talks started to lose their strength but at the same time I felt bottomless and empty which depressed me quite a lot. What I only can do is give it space. 

Comments

Hope you are feeling better soon. Well done for continuing to sit. I agree, sometimes when we are tired or unwell our inner chatter dies away more completely - we just don't have the mental energy to continue it. I've heard one teacher say about tiredness on retreats "when we are tired, the ego is also tired" I think that might be why early morning and evening sits on retreat are often the most powerful.  Is it possible to feel wide and boundless as well as bottomless and empty in these moments? Sometimes that space can be filled by life flooding in, or a recognition that it has always been there. If not maybe just feel the bottomless as completely as you can, it can then lose the fear/depressive element it can seem to carry. Hope this makes some sense and helps - if not please just throw the words away!



Bluemoon
Kokai (Sarah)
15 days ago
Thanks for your care, Kokai. 
Hannahstein
Hannahstein
15 days ago
:)
Bluemoon
Kokai (Sarah)
15 days ago