60 minute meditation journal

31 October 2017 1:01 PM
A late sit after a relaxing morning reading, writing and dozing. Good to take time as I ended up with a very gentle revisiting of some of my darker moments with a new perspective and strength.

Difficult thoughts, memories and emotions that we've long pushed away will it seems almost always arise at some point when people sit long and seriously. That is especially obvious on retreat when there is the space for anything to arise and resistance has been eroded.

Recently I was talking to someone who was dealing with memories popping up of a time that they had hoped never to have to revisit. They wanted to run away rather than go there again and feel the old vulnerability. I tried to explain that for me allowing old memories to come up has been freeing, that when we revisit rather than blocking our old most shameful memories we aren't so much reliving them as revisiting with a different perspective, with skills and resources to deal with them that we didn't have at the time. If we can face them, we help to change or lighten them. 

This felt like what was happening today, part of the ongoing process of my darker elements transforming into a valuable ingredient of my life that brings with it the motivation to act in the world and the hope of making things easier for other people in their dark moments.