45 minute meditation journal

06 October 2017 8:22 AM
1
Unintentionally this sit focused on death, perhaps brought up by talking to a friend who has been preparing her will and Advance Care Directive in anticipation of risky surgery.

I've sat before the subject of death before, (both brought up by my work and once when I too was facing potentially risky surgery) but this time it felt different. After a short spell in which all the expected resistance to the idea of me dying came up, there was a sense of it all being ok. What was left after was a real positive motivation and energy - that since life (on one level) is finite, short and unpredictable, what do I most want to do? What would I be sorriest about not having done if I was to die tomorrow? In the past this has brought up a motivation to make sure I tell the people close to me how much they mean to me, so that  I wouldn't die leaving things unsaid, I also make sure now that each time I say goodbye to my children it is with a hug and a mutual "I love you" rather than any niggles between us. Today do it felt that what is now left undone relates to practice, that there are things as yet undone there, ways I can make more of a contribution than I have so far. I'll wait to see how this plays out.