50 minute meditation journal

14 April 2017 6:30 PM
20 minutes of sitting breath meditation.
I started meditating after a lot of struggle with myself, then my father called but I didn't reach the phone soon enough to take it. So I had to start again. I felt anger toward my parents during the meditation, took it as an insight about how our mind complicates simple unpleasant events, went back to the breath. Bad concentration.

30 minutes of sitting breath meditation.
One of the best things that I learned listening to Culasada's talks is that, don't force yourself to create concentration, keep an intention to be concentrated. And by having an intention we mean just like when we have an intention to rise our arm and we do it, this kind of intention. This helps me a lot. I have learned another important lesson from Mingyur Rinpoche, it is really simple: The essence of meditation is awareness.

So this is how I meditate, I create an intention to give almost all of my mental resources to my awareness, then among things I am aware of I allocate most of my mental resources to feeling the sensations of the breath. The whole meditation practice for me now is to keep this intentions present in a relaxed way. To do so I found it helpful to keep the importance of meditation practice in mind and other things happen rather automatically. Of course I should be clear about what I want to do during meditation: I want to be focused on the sensations of the breath on the tip of my nose, in a present, engaged, relaxed way, while keeping a general awareness on the quality of my focus and awareness. So it all boils down to this two things: know what you want to do, keep the intention alive. In this session I had better concentration.  Things got better toward the end. It was also amazing to see how other stimuli from the six senses can give rise to their corresponding intentions and interfere with the intention to meditate. They were really strong. This is what happens in daily life too.