Walk of Shame

08 April 2017 4:06 PM
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I got to the office 2 pm. I needed to walk past the building security and questioning looks of the coworkers. It is repeated for the nth time. I am good at my job and that is probably part of the reason they still kept me. But still it is difficult to bear the questioning looks of coworkers: "what is wrong with him?","Why him being late is tolerated but ours is not". It is very difficult. My team-head says I have not seen something like this, he doesn't believe me. Specially when I get to work I don't look that sad, stressed, or gloomy. They may just think he is just lazy. I don't blame them. I blame myself too. I have studied in good universities. I know my job well. I am working in a place that according to many below my potential. And still I cannot make it.   

Anyway, that's how life is. I must keep calm and figure things out. It must not be that difficult. I must keep hope. My practice have been good so far. I am doing much better in stressful situations. I repeat with myself the self-compassion exercise that I learned from the Kristin Neff talk:

This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself.


Comments

Being kind to yourself can be hard. Maybe remember what those moments of calm feel like and then see if you can return to your breath with at least a little bit of that calm as and when you can during the day.

Wishing you easier days to come.
Bluemoon
Kokai (Sarah)
3 months ago
Thanks. :)
niroxki
niroxki
3 months ago