30 minute meditation journal

18 March 2017 11:59 PM
My work today brought me up close to a lot of sorrow and suffering. Lots of beautiful kindness and connections interwoven with this. Because I have far fewer emotional defences these day I seem to experience both without barriers but also to let go of them sooner. I seem to feel completely and then it passes. Unless that is, it strikes a personal chord. Today did and in an unexpected way, showing me the consequences of having many years dismissed what had seemed a 'minor' grief. Having pushed it away, it subconsciously impacted on my decision making. I think that it is only now, having to some extent 'dealt with' my more significant griefs that I was ready to see this. This had been surfacing before sitting. The sitting itself was relaxed and open but in an almost sleepy way. So I wasn't surprised when I woke in the early hours to find that this all surfaced again during the night with a new level of clarity on the subject.