30 minute meditation journal

18 March 2017 11:00 PM

My practice has fallen in intensity over the years. Back in the "honeymoon phase", when my ever-changing obsessive temper was fixated on Buddhism, I could sit longer and more regularly; my feeling of late was that what I had achieved back then was long gone and could not be recaptured for lack of motivation.

Mistakenly so. The years of practice, though irregular, have not been in vain. Back then, sitting twenty minutes was possible, twenty-five a challenge and thirty the limit; I just managed the latter again and it almost felt like it was too short towards the end!

Pain, boredom and confusion, I sat through it all. Concentration was initially good but felt apart as is the norm after about 15 minutes, my usual "ooooh shiny" attention span. Sitting for longer meant that I could recapture it, though, and could concentrate even more intensely afterwards. So well, in fact, that it allowed me to cope with the pain creeping up my leg.

In short, the limiting factor for the duration of my sits is apparently the lack of motivation more than anything else. I should definitely experiment with the longer ones, because they have the advantage of being less stressful. Less pressure to concentrate at all costs, more time to relax into doing so. It is alright if this means sitting less often, because it feels like a longer sit every now and then achieves a lot more for me than five minutes a day.


For some, meditation can be like learning to ride a bicycle, you never forget the basics. Keep on meditating and you'll experience more than you did the first time around.
equanimity Name
about 1 year ago