30 minute meditation journal

11 March 2017 9:12 PM
2
Why do I meditate:
It helps me to control my stress. More over I think I experience the world differently when I am mindful. When I am mindful I am not overwhelmed with my experience, this helps me to know the world better and also to make better decisions. To live better. Currently I am so amazed about this taste of seeing world differently (and by what I have read from experienced mediators) that curiosity is one of the major forces behind my will to meditate.

Attention Quality:
My attention is getting more stable but there is still lot's of distraction. One of the problems that frustrates me is that I sometimes cannot feel out breath on the tip of my nostrils. More over when I feel it every time I feel it on a different place. 

Insight:
I cannot express it as clear as I want, but I think I got some sense of seeing thoughts as thoughts. It is like this:
...I am present...I feel half of my attention is on the breath and another half of it is occupied...Oh! I am thinking, I want to think, It is involved in some thought!...Ok fully to the breath.
It is like it is easier to identify thoughts. Now it seems stupid because we tend to believe that thoughts are quite obvious, we know when we are thinking. But no, things are more subtle. May be I can express them more clearly later. More over identifying thoughts quickly helps concentration: you can go back to the breath more quickly.