30 minute meditation journal

10 March 2017 11:59 PM
A very sleepy sit. Well not actually sleepy, more mind slowed down to what feels a bit like an almost sleeplike drowsiness. I have ridiculous amounts of energy and rarely get sleepy otherwise and I've noticed that these days an evening sit like that is usually followed by a sit where something comes up which I might not otherwise want to see. I didn't have to wait until morning for that this time as it instead popped up in the early hours of the night. Another chain of childhood stuff, this time dating back to childhood and before to the generation before, one generation passing on their wounds to the next. Lots of this unravelling amidst another level of tears held back since childhood.

We all have within us all we need, all the goodness and wisdom and love but it is blocked by all the layers of obstructions that we are passed on or allow ourselves to accumulate. Feel so glad that as when my children were born there was enough space for that love to come bursting out, coming to the surface to allow me to help my kids become the wonderful young adults they are today. I messed up in other ways as a mum but they were always loved unconditionally.

I think maybe that unconditional love and acceptance is what we most crave and maybe what we can most offer the world. I've noticed how differently people react when I approach them in this way. So much of our problems seem to be down to the mutual layers of defences we construct, so much wanting acceptance but expecting disapproval and then creating what we expect in a self-created self-fulfilling prophesy. All needless.