Evening sit. Had to first remove the cat who had quickly sat on my zabuton. Outpouring of emotions for a while, rising over and over from my heart, flowing through me. It felt like a huge relief for it to be expressed. Then became sleepy and felt some resistance to sitting for a while till it pa ...
Sit with sangha friends. Painful knot in my heart. Struggled with really painful tears and resistance till I (in thought) placed a hand onto my heart with compassion and then it softened. Then I did some metta practise.
Morning 'sit'. Lying down though rather than sitting. I experience a lot of things as energy movements/ bodily sensations and sometimes it is easier/more effective to feel into those lying down rather than in a traditional sitting posture. My head gets in the way less somehow. Today there was a ...
Short, sleepy evening sit
Three short sits (5, 5, and 15 minutes) as part of a beginners session at the zendo
Zazenkai at zendo
2nd sit. Yesterday at work I had this feeling of calm and spaciousness which lasted quite a while, despite a difficult job pending. I’m beginning to feel this more and more lately.
Morning sit. Sitting with both peace and anxiety. As usual the small struggle to turn towards the anxiety and accept it.
Evening sit. Started off sleepily - it was late after work, household stuff and decorating - but then more awake. Either way it doesn't seem to matter too much because for the last few days energy stuff has continued outside sitting. There is little thinking and a lot of just allowing energy to ...
A second sit. Anxious. Continuation of this morning I guess. Established a sort of safe place in EMDR therapy yesterday which I need to practice so I figured I would do it on the mat. It feels very similar to meditation 🧘♀️. And being with this shut door in me that I am not used to and find qu ...
Morning sit. Still boundaries and anger. The other person’s anger is over and now I find that although I am not angry as such I have shut the door. I had planned on opening it, as I always do, but it is refusing to budge! Some soothing energy stuff to counteract all the disquiet that this produces.