Mindfulness of deep sadness, and upset. These are subtle minds, not active like anger or annoyance, more like green poisonous gas hovering just above the floor. "It leaves a bitter taste in ones mouth" - For me the emotion "bitterness" does manifest a physical taste element ...
OpenMind
over 4 years ago 3 12
A big project at work went live today on time after masses of work and against the odds. It feels like I somehow just 'forgot' to worry or stress over it. Equally it feels like I've 'forgotten' to celebrate or congratulate myself on it happening. In the past I would have been jubilant and dancin ...
Bluemoon
over 4 years ago 3 2
Disorientating. First half - powerful emptiness as in this morning's sit. Breath hardly there. Unbelievably nice but just as I started questioning whether it should really feel that good the sit changed completely. Waves of emotions rising in only one one side of my body. Couldn't quite work out ...
Bluemoon
over 4 years ago 3
When I decided to get on it again with meditating one of the reasons was too much daydreaming, not enough being alive now. Of course, it turns out that doing more meditation hasn't reduced the daydreaming. I know why I do it. I know we all do it. I've even decided to pay more attention to the co ...
Becky
Becky added a diary.
over 4 years ago 2 8
Sitting. Breathing. Thinking. Wash, rinse, repeat. I feel full of energy but there's no way to reach it.
coyoteyogi
over 4 years ago
Didn't manage it much today due to very deep sadness and upset. Felt bitterness arising, forming a bitter taste in the mouth and then leaving, was there for most day. I know why this is happening but choosing not to go into it here. Remained mindful of these feelings during the day but just cou ...
OpenMind
over 4 years ago 2
Sit was relaxed, removed from the conflict of the past week; it appears this conflict was tied up in seeing my increasing participation in reality only as a means to an end; see now there was resentment in a belief that I was being guided forwards and that there was nothing I could do other than ...
HamiTipene
over 4 years ago 2
Day 1 - Back to basics, after a major hiatus of daily ritual and practice. Groggy,stiff and grouchy, I maintained my commitment to sit after waking. I think the only thought was "trust the process". Working with the mantra - Karuna Hum (I am compassion) Repeated silently as I sat. I f ...
melt
over 4 years ago 5 1
Meditated on a determination to view all phenomena as empty of inherent existence whilst off cushion today, particularly during the working day.
OpenMind
over 4 years ago 3
Powerful emptiness in this sit. Too strong (too detached?) for any thoughts or emotions to take any hold. Post-sit - a bit like everything has been turned on its head. Feels strange but positive. It'll be interesting to see how/if this works throughout the day.
Bluemoon
over 4 years ago 2
Back home after a really calm and mindful weekend. That changed within minutes of getting home but this sit helped restore and deepen it. Lovely...
Bluemoon
over 4 years ago 1
Holding on to an image that is inflated, eager to impress, conditional on having value; scared of being ordinary; but perhaps allowing myself to be truly ordinary will lead to something far more spectacular than this image of greatness and the control that it represents that I am contracted arou ...
HamiTipene
over 4 years ago 5 3
• Heart of my heart Trying to use a strength to overcome a weakness, immediately before the sit I did a brief act of magick to make it my Will to surrender to god/the beloved in this sit. As I've not been using anything like this approach in a while it was nice to feel the sudden flow of energy ...
jameswarlock
over 4 years ago
Interesting experience
 at Café Trust; was vacuum cleaning and it kept turning on and off again; the
 others asked what thoughts were going through my mind and did a constellation;
 results fit in with what I was thinking at the time, that my heart was turning off and on again much l ...
HamiTipene
over 4 years ago 1
Sat down somewhat disgruntled as my morning routine was interrupted by my wife. Spent the first half more or less churning mentally. Am I really such a slave to habit and routine? Apparently, yes. Second half a little bit easier, a taste of spaciousness and gentle energy but still plenty of thin ...
coyoteyogi
over 4 years ago 3
On Sunday there was the Sun at Seven p.m. as I drove home. Afterwards, I realized that was when my meditation group had started to sit. Maybe I've never seen that floating exploding star before. After so many weeks of a gentle awareness some deep tight shift seems to be occurring. My attention ...
anyone
over 4 years ago
Sitting is messy and not very enjoyable these days. Focus is almost non-existent. My thoughts drift off into dreams and ideas and keeps planning for things that probably never will happen. How I should act, who I will meet, how I will succeed - how funny and wonderful I'll be in some hypothetica ...
pajaboo
over 4 years ago 2
Included tonglen and loving kindness again. Finding it very hard to argue with/ feel tense around family members after this. Not used to this amount of harmony...
Bluemoon
over 4 years ago 1 4