Buzzy helicopter-y sit. Went to group sit tonight. The focus was on "hear out" auditory awareness. What emerged: - The high pitched buzzing - like tinnuitis. This now occurs almost all the time during meditation. When I first got off retreat it was so loud, I felt like I was going to ...
jwen
about 4 years ago
I've had a strange feeling in the last few months of a wall between me and the rest of the world having gone which left me feeling a little vulnerable but very connected. In the past few days I have noted more of this vulnerability and an unkind fear in myself that I am at risk of being 'needy' ...
Bluemoon
about 4 years ago 1
Noted sensations on crown of head which at the start almost matched the heart for intensity - almost but not quite discomfort. Think the discomfort comes from me associating sensations in the head with stress or ongoing headache and me tensing up to it. When I relaxed into it, discomfort left an ...
Bluemoon
about 4 years ago 1 3
LOVE is the universal law :) as far there be hope, you will find the way. Today I did not do the usual sit. Instead I have an insightful conversation that was my light today! I was really needing those words. Thank you for those messages and thank you because I was receptive to them THANK YOU!
Jomuco
about 4 years ago 1
Sunday afternoon sit. Focused on mindfulness of sensations and letting go. Worked out beforehand so sitting was more difficult and I was quite tired. Started thinking about sandwiches. Wondered how hard it would be to install a new toilet into my apartment.
keane
about 4 years ago 1 2
• New practice/surrender to hearts yearning • Breaks: 5 More physical pain tonight - quite a bit actually. It emerged fairly soon after I tuned into my heart, and there was a fairly constant sharp ache from then on. It didn't bother me much until the final five minutes or so when it became a re ...
jameswarlock
about 4 years ago 1
During sit - calm tranquility, equanimity? Outside sits - very contemplative
Bluemoon
about 4 years ago
Guided Meditation - Fragrant Heart - Elisabeth Blakely "The Tree - A Grounding Meditation" - 11:20 min "Blue Sky - Meditation for Inner Stillness and Silence" - 10:41 min I missed a day yesterday, and had a really jam packed day. I need to get a little bit better about makin ...
umyum
about 4 years ago
Have finished a week focussing on what matters to me and what I feel grateful for. What came up over the week wasn't what I would have predicted. A repeated theme was connections to particular people (from family members to near strangers) and a general sense of how I need to feel connected to o ...
Bluemoon
about 4 years ago 2
Took long than normal today to really settle into the sit so fortunate that I had planned a longer sit. Once settled strong sense of connectedness and how much this matters to me. New focus on change. Started with huge waves of emotion and sadness, noted a resistance, sat with that then, the re ...
Bluemoon
about 4 years ago 2
Just a micro-millisecond, an encounter. That's enough. Expansion. A solid drop, a thunk, A landing on soft quiet earth after being tossed about in a loud and tempestuous sea. Not floaty or flowy or buzz-y No light shows. No sound waves. Not even elation. Quiet quiet, deep.
jwen
jwen added a diary.
about 4 years ago
• New practice/surrender to hearts yearning • Breaks: 5 Tonight the yearning came with a quite intense, physical, pain. At the beginning of the sit I seemed to 'focus in' to the heart better than I have done in a little while - a lot of my head went quiet for a while. I was then aware of the pa ...
jameswarlock
about 4 years ago 2
Focused on body sensations. Thought of breakfast. Tacos. Breakfast tacos. Muppet Babies. Italy. Iowa. Vipassana. Interspatial travel. Bunny rabbits.
keane
about 4 years ago 1 2
Meditation feels wonderful!! (today). Complete change of physical and emotional state for only 35 minutes of focus. Can't believe it took me so many years to get serious about this. After holding back tears this morning I didn't have chance to sit anywhere private and let them go before needing ...
Bluemoon
about 4 years ago 3 3
My body and heart in particular has been ridiculously sensitive to music and indeed pretty much all sounds since my illness. So it was with wariness that I went to my son's concert this morning as brass and orchestral music seems to have the strongest impact. When I saw that one of the tunes the ...
Bluemoon
about 4 years ago 1
• New practice/surrender to hearts yearning • Breaks: 6 Another shift in the presentation of the yearning - mostly a pressure, but more detail and complexity emerged as I sat with it, almost moving into it at times. Not unpleasant but certainly a discontent. I became somewhat annoyed that my fo ...
jameswarlock
about 4 years ago
Today I watched Daniel Ingram's explanation of the stages of insight http://vimeo.com/channels/726184 And did more reading on the Dark Night. http://alohadharma.wordpress.com/the-map/the-dark-night/ The stages of the Dark Night: - disillusionment - fear/terror - misery - disgust - desire for ...
jwen
about 4 years ago 1 6
In the park - 15 minutes seated and 15 minutes lying down. First half - started relaxed. Tried the black and gold breathing. My mind isn't very obedient - my black clouds of smoke were streaked with red and my golden light was partly green. That made me smile (I've never been able to count sheep ...
Bluemoon
about 4 years ago
Guided Meditation - Elisabeth Blakely - Fragrant Heart - "Om Mani Padme Hum Compassion Meditation" - 15:25 min This meditation was very nice. A great start to my day, despite the fact that I slept in a little more than I intended today. That's alright, I'm feeling a little tired still ...
umyum
about 4 years ago 2 1
My morning meditations are usually just enough to get me up and ready for the day so I rarely comment on them. Today though my son came up and I'm logging it so I don't lose some of the insights that came to me when I wasn't looking for them. Feelings of love but also of loss which seemed to rel ...
Bluemoon
about 4 years ago 5 4