Evening sit. Battled with the urge to self harm, but just breathed everything in and felt it all.
rosie
9 days ago 4 5
40 minutes during the night, 10 minutes in the morning. Very strange but oh so helpful.
Bluemoon
10 days ago 3
The extra time I knew was needed. This time the reintegrating element of child me was learning boundaries, how to stand up for herself, how to avoid attack. Before this though was a few layers of sadness, shame and a self-hatred, wish to self-harm/punish to sit through. Felt better for having sa ...
Bluemoon
10 days ago 3 1
Evening sit. Sometimes when I see my mind spinning off somewhere, going round and round, instead of coming. back to my breath or awareness of being in my body I look at where it was going and ask myself why do I keep going here. Which I did and it was helpful. Then I went back to the situation ...
rosie
11 days ago 1
Each moment of suffering is a koan, may be! May be each moment of life is a koan, but we are most perplexed with the koans of difficult moments. May be.
niroxki
niroxki added a diary.
11 days ago 3 3
Morning practice. Up popped a physical memory from many years ago. Prompted by an article I read just before sitting which triggers a physical reaction that I knew I needed to sit with. I've been reintegrating a new aspect of child me recently and each time that happens it seems some of the old ...
Bluemoon
11 days ago 2
Morning sit. A lot of self hatred. Resisting the urge to hurt myself, found that I was able instead to loving and kind.
rosie
11 days ago
Evening sit with the sangha. Difficult. Still inner child stuff, how the loss of my best friend in the time I was at school devastated me, and it resonates with a current situation, even though so much has changed. Not really able to do more than just bearing at this point.
rosie
12 days ago 1