Evening sit. Battled with the urge to self harm, but just breathed everything in and felt it all.
9 days ago 4 5
40 minutes during the night, 10 minutes in the morning. Very strange but oh so helpful.
10 days ago 3
The extra time I knew was needed. This time the reintegrating element of child me was learning boundaries, how to stand up for herself, how to avoid attack. Before this though was a few layers of sadness, shame and a self-hatred, wish to self-harm/punish to sit through. Felt better for having sa ...
10 days ago 3 1
Evening sit. Sometimes when I see my mind spinning off somewhere, going round and round, instead of coming. back to my breath or awareness of being in my body I look at where it was going and ask myself why do I keep going here. Which I did and it was helpful. Then I went back to the situation ...
11 days ago 1
Each moment of suffering is a koan, may be! May be each moment of life is a koan, but we are most perplexed with the koans of difficult moments. May be.
niroxki added a diary.
11 days ago 3 3
Morning practice. Up popped a physical memory from many years ago. Prompted by an article I read just before sitting which triggers a physical reaction that I knew I needed to sit with. I've been reintegrating a new aspect of child me recently and each time that happens it seems some of the old ...
11 days ago 2
Morning sit. A lot of self hatred. Resisting the urge to hurt myself, found that I was able instead to loving and kind.
11 days ago
Evening sit with the sangha. Difficult. Still inner child stuff, how the loss of my best friend in the time I was at school devastated me, and it resonates with a current situation, even though so much has changed. Not really able to do more than just bearing at this point.
12 days ago 1