I've had three main sitting ''themes" recently, old life stuff, life direction stuff and a koan. In this sotall three came together it was like they had never felt seperate.
Attention to Breathing Very nice sit. Felt happy going into it, and calm and relaxed throughout.
Another sit encountering a pocket of dark old emotions, So far this week I've had fear, despair, loneliness, anger and hatred. Today it was the turn of shame and self-blame. Each of them has taken a real intention to see and feel them, to accept and even welcome them and this has allowed them to ...
Morning sit. I have all this resistance and holding back to be with, to accept and make friends with. Bowing practice and metta.
Evening sit. It felt like it needed more but it was too late and I was too drowsy. Something for tomorrow.
Afternoon sit. Good to sit again with the turmoil. Pushing away judgements, metta practice and feeling some calm and also energy.
Attention to Breathing Nice sit, although it was cold out which made for a minor distraction.
Feeling a pocket of a dark emotion from the past rising, really feeling it and feeling it spontaneously transform
Morning sit. Sitting with lots of conflicted feelings still. Being judged and feeling judged by somebody who matters to me. A little metta practice but mostly everything whirling around, and stuck in it. Need to come back to it and let it all play out and exhaust itself.
Attention to Breathing Harder to focus than usual.
anapana for a morning sit
Morning sit. Metta practice. Very anxious and conflicted, and this is making concentration harder. I feel that I need more sitting time but am finding it difficult to do.
Morning sit. I've had some difficult things to deal with recently and given my history of burying or overruling difficult emotions I've been being very attentive to any emotions, even tiny residues or echoes of old emotions to make sure that they are heard, allowed and resolved rather than deter ...