Morning sit extra
Morning sit. Let myself just feel what is there to be felt and noticing what pops up in the space when that feels 'done'.
30 minutes of samatha
Short evening sit
anapana and vipassana
Imaginary prison, but still a prison, until I start moving out
The last part of this mini-retreat which included our rohatsu sitting, this year getting up to sit at 3:10am while a storm raged outside. Made a little more exciting for me by also cycling in during the storm with my hi-vis jacket blown up around my head. It ensured I was wide awake by the time ...
Morning sit. Lots of negative, angry and dissatisfied feelings...metta practice to these, over and over as I watched them come back over and over again. Communication is stuck and needs some resolution.
Morning sit. I wanted to sit with some stuff but it slipped away and disappeared into nothing. The same with my annoyance at being ill missing the zendo. Peaceful stillness instead.
Another retreat day
Morning sit. Watching my sadness at disharmony with one of my kids and not being able to go to the zendo last night. Resistance to this, feeling ill, tired and bored... Metta practice to all this. Feels like there is gap again between me and all this stuff. Something which was gone yesterday.