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Haven't written in ages! Been putting it off because I want to take my time to sum things up, but that's holding me back from actually writing anything at all. So here I am, just doing it regardless. Basically swings and roundabouts, ups and downs. I want to attribute the specifics of what's go ...
44 minutes ago
The Celestial Sanctum (Practice) Moon Phase: New Moon Some sublte ecstay and some peace. The body started to "disappear". Thoughts on Meditation IX: Phenomelogycally, sometimes - during the meditation at the recetivity phase - the physical sensation of the body, as a concrete thing, start to ...
about 14 hours ago 1
Over the past month I have been sitting to meditate sporadically. I was doing the Headspace course online and that gave me someone to listen to each day. Having someone talk about the meditation and giving me exercises to do kept up my motivation and momentum. But now I have finished the course ...
about 15 hours ago 2 2
Much appreciated sit today. Parts were more "difficult", but not as they have been in the past. My back has knots and so gets quite sore during sits at times, but I was able to maintain composure and relaxation somehow (haha, thank you, acceptance meditation!). There was also a loud movie on ...
1 day ago 1
The Celestial Sanctum (Practice) Moon Phase: New Moon Ausence of an ecstay. Some medium peace. Thoughts on Meditation VIII: Ecstasy and Profound Peace: to me the ecstasy is more related to the Subtle Energy and peace, more related, with the Causal Energy. I am not totally or absollutely conv ...
1 day ago 1
Attempt to get to sitting group this evening foiled by a massive Bristol jam. Did my best to get there before the doors were locked but had to settle with a 'sitting in traffic' meditation instead. Arising and passing frustration and disappointment throughout. Noticing the likely shared experien ...
1 day ago 3 3
Short lunchtime sit dealing with thoughts and emotions around what seemed like a big decision. Realised that there was in fact no decision to make. More laughter....
2 days ago 3
Week 13 Noting life 0 breaks More of the feeling that I'm being meditated, not meditating. The feeling of making a good effort or a job well done seems redundant then
2 days ago 2
Today's sit was effortless. I think the acceptance meditations have really been helping me shed some layers. The past several days, mindfulness has been easy. I have felt the sensations of anxiety very clearly, but have been letting it be, and felt content in the face of these intense sensati ...
2 days ago 3
The Celestial Sanctum (Practice) Moon Phase: New Moon The ecstasy disappeared, again. Profound peace ausent, just some very superficial peace. Thoughts on Meditation VII: What I mean, by peace, more exactly, profound peace? A deep sense, deep feeling, of stillness, internal silence, in a cal ...
3 days ago 1
Week 13 Noting life 2 breaks Bone dry, but not dark nighty.
3 days ago
Lunchtime zazen outside on a gorgeous winter day - my normal grin turned to laughter.
3 days ago 2
Week 13 Noting life 2 breaks Slightly chore-like. Dry. Had that feeling that I'm not meditating but being meditated
4 days ago
AM Token Sit + Dreams Woke up from the middle of the night incredibly tired and purged a bit, then needed some water, went back to sleep, felt like I immediately woke back up because some one was in my room, the narrator ego voice (strange because I usually never hear it anymore) very clearly ...
4 days ago 2
Thoughts and emotions and "problems" drifting by. Watching with interest.
4 days ago 3
The Celestial Sanctum (Practice) Moon Phase: New Moon The ecstasy returned. Thoughts on Meditation VI: I having problems to know exactaly the phase of the Moon - on an exactaly time - because there are two ways to classificate that, a simpler and a complex. Now that I know the existence of t ...
4 days ago 1
Due to bad state of mund and hospital stays I havent been meditating. Until today. Tried meditating only short 10 minutes felt really good, until the end wasnt strong enough to keep going bad memories flooded in but its a start building it up again
4 days ago 4 1
The Celestial Sanctum (Practice) Moon Phase: New Moon Ecstasy ausent. Just some profound peace. Thoughts on Meditation V: After the beginning o the research at Waning Moon, ecstasy appeared, but now on New Moon, it disappeared.
5 days ago 1
3 x 30 mins zazen plus kinhin Sit 1 – sense building of everything being just ‘right’, nothing to look for or find. The zen type questions that have been going through my mind recently and usually only serve to bludgeon my mind into giving up thinking for a while actually seemed to make se ...
5 days ago 2
Week 13 Noting life 0 breaks Much more space than usual. Thanks, the Supreme
5 days ago
week 13 Noting light 2 breaks Very dry. It's almost always difficult to sit when i have to sit at the end of a day
6 days ago
The Celestial Sanctum (Practice) Moon Phase: New Moon Ecstasy almost ausent. More profound peace than yesterday. Thoughts on Meditation IV: Most of time, have been dificult to pass the meditative living experience into word to this diary.
6 days ago 1
Just sitting. Calm. Space. No drama or excitement, just really nice. And then hearing a sound let to a train of thought about where the sound was and then off into sound waves, light waves, electrons, photons etc etc. When that had run its course, ended with metta / tonglen / gratitude.
6 days ago 2
AM Mantra 1 more snapped into place easily, started to feel myself heat up when added intention and energy into mantra/mudra & visual of guy with vajra sword sitting in an orb radiating fire out into me. That was a first but very related to the mantra.
6 days ago 1 1
The Celestial Sanctum (Practice) Moon Phase: Waning Crescent I felt some ecstasy and some profound peace. Thoughts on Meditation III: From a comment on Dan Barlett log on 16 January 2014 9:00 PM - "30 minute meditation journal": - describing about my experiences o ...
7 days ago 1 3
Two x 30 min zazen + kinhin The last couple of days have been tough after a difficult situation came to a head at work. I've needed to keep calm to support my team at work and due to confidentiality can't discuss it with anyone outside of work. I've also had to make my recent sit logs private a ...
7 days ago 2
Week 13 Noting life Felt good to do another method for a change
7 days ago
I ended today's session with some loving kindness meditation. It has highlighted: 1) How little love I give and show - both to others AND myself 2) How closed off I am 3) How hard it is to visualise during such a meditation. 4) I will put this into the end of every sit for 10 minutes. I can ...
7 days ago 2
PM Mantra + rambling +1 more mantra framework down got interesting insights from 2 recently. One was on the nature of righteousness/ justice, was different then I thought since this mantra is about the direction of energy. What came to mind was that our actions cause reprocussions. This energ ...
7 days ago 1 2